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Month: October 2017

DIY HALLOWEEN TREATS FOR ALL (Vegan, Gluten Free, Kosher, & Furry Friends)

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Halloween is just after this weekend… Are you Prepared? There are many dietary restrictions out there for kids and adults (and even furry friends) that make DIY Treats a bit more difficult. So here’s a quick reference and guide to help you navigate some of the more common treat issues:

 

1.  Kosher – A fairly simple request to accommodate for, just look for the “Ⓤ” alongside the ingredients for any treats! But to help you decide, here’s a list of Kosher Candies from CandyStore.com. As well as one from CandyFavorites.com listing the type of ingredient in each (Dairy/Pareve)!

 

2. Gluten Free – Now for something a bit harder… but it’s becoming simpler every moment to create Gluten Free options.

Thanks to HuffPost & Phoebe Lapine for this collection of recipes. Here are our favorites:

Thanks to The Daily Burn for this additional spooky list of Halloween GF recipes:

 

3. Vegan – Welcome to the wonderful world of food lacking all animals and animal byproducts! This restriction can be fairly difficult to abide by, so we are here to help!

 

4. Gluten Free Vegans – An all-encompassing article from Vogue for Halloween Coconut Mounds, Blood Brownies, and Pumpkin Spice Muffins!:

Plus a few from a collection of friendly sites:

 

5. Furry Friends – It can be especially difficult if your friends aren’t human… so here are some tasty snacks for those friends who deserve a “treat” (just spell it out loud so they don’t get too excited!):

 

Now you’re ready to deliver to everyone! So let us deliver some awesome comedy to you with shows every night of the week. Check out our upcoming line-ups here.

 

Get ready for our Halloween Spooktacular this coming Tuesday (HALLOWEEN) starting at 7pm, with a DJ and Reverse #HappyHour from 8:30pm to Close! Don’t forget to come in costume to compete to be the best! Get your tickets here, before we sell out!

Happy National Pumpkin Day!

ByonwithComments Off on Happy National Pumpkin Day!

Happy National Pumpkin Day! With a little help from a handful of friendly sites (BuzzFeed, parenting.com, delish), we’ve put together some entertaining ideas to help you create your best Halloween pumpkin decor yet! From Simple to Explicit, take a look and enjoy!

  1. The Spider Pumpkin, legs and all

MATERIALS1 large pumpkin1 medium pumpkin1 small pumpkin2 toothpicks9 pipe cleaners2 googly eyesStaplerGlueINSTRUCTIONS1. Bend pipe cleaners into the shape of a spider’s leg.2. Staple four "legs" to the bottom of the large pumpkin. 3. Stick a toothpick into the large pumpkin and put a ring of glue around it. Push the medium pumpkin onto the toothpick. 4. Repeat steps two and three with a smaller pumpkin.5. Stick googly eyes above the stem.6. Cut a pipe cleaner into a smile with fangs and glue.

  1. Combine two Halloween favorites to create a truly scary scarecrow….

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  1. The Leg Eater

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  1. If you really want to scare any squash-relative…

  1. Potter Fans – grab your black and red sharpie for this magically simple carving

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  1. Grab some leather and strap in this crazy pumpkin!

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  1. The Just Born pumpkin…. Time to cut the cord.

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  1. Get one of those lopsided pumpkins? Try knocking out the competition!

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  1. The Overserved pumpkin…

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  1. Lastly (and definitely not least), the scariest of them all, the Murderous Pumpkin Rampage

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Get a good laugh out of this list? Come check out our comedy line-up every night of the week at Stand Up NY. Line-up and tickets here.

 

Reasons Why Bill Gates Could Have Been Batman

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Sure, Bill Gates started a giant company, helped spread computing technology around the world and donated billions to philanthropic causes but if he really wanted to help the world, he could’ve been a real-life actual Batman. He had a real chance to be the one superhero it was possible to be without superpowers. It is every kid’s dream but Bill blew his chance at doing it. Here’s how he could have done it:

  1. Net Worth: Bill Gates is worth 89 Billion dollars today. He was already extremely wealthy in his 30s and 40s (prime fighting years), just like Bruce Wayne.
  2. Fighting Skills: Bill is more of a mathlete than an athlete, but he could have used his wealth to hire the best martial arts instructors to give him Batman’s fighting prowess and the best weight-lifting trainers and supplements to give himself Batman’s muscular physique.
  3. Primo Utility Belt: Bill is connected to the top scientists and engineers in the country, he could have figured out how to make a Batmobile and Batman-like gadgets such as net guns, grappling hooks etc….
  4. Arch-Nemesis: Potential arch-enemies all over the place. Gates has had many feuds, most notably with other high-profile billionaires like Steve Jobs and Larry Ellison. One of them could have easily been a good supervillain after finding out Gates was Batman.
  5. Bat Cave: Bill Gates Residence is by a lake on a large plot of land outside of Seattle. It’s a perfect secluded spot to build a Bat Cave with secret tunnels leading in and out of it.
  6. Plausible Deniability: “Mild-mannered Bill Gates? He’s a skinny computer guy, he couldn’t be the Dark Knight.” Bill Gates’ laid-back personality makes it so nobody would suspect he’s the caped crusader. In fact, maybe he’s been fighting crime in secret this whole time and none of noticed! Thank you, Bill, keep fighting the good fight.

Halloween TV Specials 2017

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So Halloween’s right around the corner and you’re already sick of all the candy, pumpkin spice everything, and so much orange and black! Well, there are a few easy favorites regarding Halloween specials such as the fresh scent of fall, perfect sweater weather, and of course, all the spooktacular Halloween themed special shows that run during October leading up to the Big 3-1!

Here to help you keep track of it all, @RuthieKinane has put together a great post on EW.com regarding all the Episodes and movies to watch out for this October. Below is a list of a few comedy-related titles that we’ve anticipated and a few new shows debuting their first Halloween special!

  • The Simpsons, “Treehouse of Horror XXVIII”, October 22, 2017, at 8 PM on FOX

Scoop: Back again with one of the most anticipated and favored Halloween specials every year, The Simpsons return with the 28th annual “Treehouse of Horror” a possessive yet enlightening and ominous episode. Get the inside scoop here.

  • The Mick, “The Haunted House” episode, aired on Tuesday, October 17th on FOX.

Inside Scoop: Co-Creator John Chernin on why they did a Halloween Episode unlike last year’s lack of Holiday themed episodes, “This year when we knew that we’d be premiering in the fall, we knew that we had to do a Halloween episode. We also thought that their burnt down house already looked haunted so that visual alone lent itself to doing a Halloween episode.” (from @DanielKurland’s Den of Geek interview)

Inside Scoop: Handmaids takeover the office while Terry and Amy freak out wondering who is responsible for this creepy prank. (from@Dansnierson’s Entertainment post)

  • Black-ish, “Advance to Go (Collect $200)”, Tuesday, October 24th at 9 PM on ABC

Scoop: Family game night turns sour as competition mounts and alliances are formed, while everyone is pushed to their limits.

  • The Goldbergs, “Jackie Likes Star Trek”, Wednesday, October 25th at 8 pm on ABC

Scoop: A disagreement over Halloween costumes causes problems for Adam and Jackie causing Murray’s lesson to Adam to backfire.

  • Modern Family, “N-I-NIGHTMARE ON D-I-DIMEO STREET“, Wednesday, October 25th at 8:30 pm on ABC

Scoop: The DiMeo kids mistakenly eat old Halloween candy that causes feverish dreams of horror and wish fulfillment, and Kenneth agonizes over which era of Michael Jackson to dress as for Halloween.

  • HOCUS POCUS MARATHON, 12pm-11pm Tuesday, October 31st

There will be various times leading up to Halloween to catch Hocus Pocus once more, as well as many other Halloween favorites during the Freeform “13 Nights of Halloween”! Check out their entire schedule here: http://bit.ly/2xT75Hv

Need a wicked good laugh as Halloween rolls around? Come to our Spooktacular show on October 31st for our costume contest and reverse happy hour from 8:30 pm – Close. It all kicks off at 7 PM with a supernatural line-up of eerily good comedians! Check out our other shows every night of the week!

Dude, Where’s My Costume?

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Less than 2 weeks until Halloween, and I still haven’t gotten a costume! What am I going to be? Am I doing a couple or group costume? How many parties to do I need to prepare for? Sexy or Warm… Ugh, choices. Shoot, its October 30th! Can I pin and tape together a last minute costume with what I’ve got laying around my studio apartment? Do I even have tape or pins….

Ok, so if you’re reading this and you can relate, here’s what to do:

  1. Go to Amazon ASAP! And take @AnaMariaGlavan’s advice!

To summarize here are a few favored options as of today:

  1. Be cozy! – Glow-in-the-dark Bones Body Suit

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  1. The Head Turner(s) – Inflatable TRex… Truly terrify your children on Halloween morning by chasing them out of bed!  VS. The Shark Onesie, humming the Jaws theme song as you saunter along.

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  1. Let’s be frugal – Simple superhero Tshirt and pillowcase cape (Optional Splurge: Any simple hero accessory)

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  1. Going as a couple or pair… get Jelly! Because there’s a perfect PB&J set costume out there for you!

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  1. Simplest costumes from everyday apartment goods – DIY well

    1. The nudist on strike – Paper/Cardboard + String/Beads/Shoelaces

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  1. Pigs in a blanket – Blanket + Construction Paper Nose and Ears + Pen + Hairclip/String

pigs in a blanket.jpg

  1. Grapes – a packet of green/purple Balloons + Pins + Shirt

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  1. Nickelback… Cash in a whole dollar at the bank for a pack of 20 nickels + hot glue + Tshirt (or just write 5¢ all over the back to be extra frugal)

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  1. Salt & Pepper – black & White shirts + black “S” & white “P” cut out of paper + tape/pins/hot glue

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  1. Really don’t have much? Well just get Paper + Pen + Tape (hopefully a lot of paper and tape), Write “Error 404 – Costume Not Found” and please cover up what you can…. For the easily chilled, you can just write on a shirt.

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And if you really don’t know… try this article where you can just click on what you have, and it will generate a simple DIY costume!

  1. CAUTION! Don’t be these guys…

    1. Costumes no one understood

    2. Here’s the worst of 2017 and The Good, The Bad, The Ugly of 2017

    3. Honestly, I don’t know about these ‘surprise period pants’, I’m not sure anyone does… but they earned a headline so… here’s the scary video to go with it:

Ok, now you’ve got no reason not to don a costume and join us on Halloween for comedy, a costume contest, and reverse happy hour! But feel free to test out your costume any other night leading up to the big day by attending one of our nightly comedy showcases! Check out our schedule here!

Happy Birthday Chuck Lorre

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Happy Wednesday! Shout out to Chuck Lorre on celebrating his 65th birthday and the recent Netflix Premiere of his new show Disjointed. Happy Birthday, Chuck!

So here’s a bit of background, before television comedies moved onto the internet via Amazon, Netflix, Hulu, etc. Chuck Lorre had already set himself up as a boss in sitcom production and television writing. He has been behind shows such as Two and a Half Men, Dharma & Greg, Mom, Mike & Molly, Roseanne, The Big Bang Theory and the recent prequel Young Sheldon since 1990.

Disjointed is Lorre’s first made-to-stream sitcom, starring Kathy Bates as Ruth, a marijuana advocate who gets to live her dream as the owner of a Los Angeles cannabis dispensary.

(Living true to the script, here’s a little look into how Kathy Bates prepares for her role as Ruth.)

Vanity Fair claims, at first Lorre and co-creator David Javerbaum threw out the pilot script and re-wrote to take advantage of the continuing storyline that is available to the viewer all at once, as the first 10 episodes are all posted simultaneously. Lorre’s reasoning, “It didn’t take advantage of the extra time we got. Of course, there’s no censorship, there are no restrictions as to content.” So this show should be quite a new form of writing for Chuck Lorre, allowing them to diverge from the standard three-act sitcom format. Meaning onlookers get a new view of the other main characters Travis (Aaron Moten), Olivia (Elizabeth Alderfer), Carter (Tone Bell), Jenny (Elizabeth Ho), Pete (Dougie Baldwin), Steven “Dank” Dankerson (Chris Redd), and Dabby Shapiro (Betsy Sodaro) during the shop’s daily ongoings.

A divergence from his original sitcom work on television, Chuck Lorre is still able to carry over his writing techniques and production ideas with a few tweaks to make it more stream ready while keeping intact his sitcom appeal. Congratulations to everyone involved in Disjointed! And Happy Birthday Chuck Lorre! Thanks for everything you have given us!

Can’t sit at home, too eager to get out? If you want some *live* comedy,  come join us at Stand Up NY! Shows every night of the week featuring comedians from all walks of life. Check out our showtimes and line-ups here, or text 646-400-1983!

Dick Gregory – A Great American Activist

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On Oct. 12th in 1932, Dick Gregory was born Richard Claxton Gregory in St. Louis Mo., unfortunately, he also just left us on August 19th, 2017 at the age of 84; and we would like to remember and honor some of his great actions and pursuits during his life.

He was known as a great African American comedian and social/civil rights activist; beginning his comedy career in 1953 by leaving college to join the U.S. Army, where he hosted and performed comedy routines in military shows to peers. His big breakthrough came in 1961 from a one-nighter at the Chicago Playboy Club, earning him a profile in Time magazine and kickstarting his comedic career.

While Dick was involved in social causes in high school, he truly began targeting poverty, segregation, and racial discrimination with a biting brand of satirical comedy directed towards white audiences after 1961 in subsequent television, nightclub, and concert appearances.

(Check out this video to see one of his common racial satire show clips)

By 1963, he had participated in multiple demonstrations and had been arrested for civil disobedience several times. Eventually, in the mid-1960s, Dick Gregory left his comedy in the past to pursue his political interests such as running for mayor of Chicago in 1966 and president of the U.S. in 1968 and leading him to expand his interests from race relations to violence, world hunger, and poor health care. Building the Dick Gregory Health Enterprises Inc. in 1984  which helped him target the lower life expectancy of black Americans, which he blamed on poor nutrition and drug and alcohol abuse.

 

Overall Dick Gregory was and is a powerful name in the realm of comedy and activism, having fused his two passions to forward important civil rights and social movements over the duration of his life.

 

So follow his words, “Laughter is the best way to release tensions and fears,” and come enjoy some release with Stand Up NY! Shows every night of the week, ready to help you relax with a heavy dose of comedy, satire, and good vibes. Since we all know, Laughter is the best medicine!

NY’s Facts, Fascinations, & Phenomenons

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  • Funny Laws:

  1. Let’s start with an easy one – Don’t forget to report any finding of more than $20 of lost money or else face $1,000 to a year in jail! Section 252 of New York’s Personal Property Law.

  2. No hosting puppet shows, dances, or Comedy skits in any window or open space or any house or building! Section 10-114 of the New York City Administrative Code.

  3. Check your apartment fowl, because usually only Hens are allowed! According to Section 161.19 of the city’s Health Code, “no person shall keep a live rooster, duck, goose or turkey in a built-up portion of the City.”

  4. NO PDA in NYC! – Beware, you could be fined up to $25 for flirting in New York!

  • Fascinating Facts:

  1. New Yorkers bite 10 times more people than sharks do worldwide each year.

  2. The city of “New Amsterdam” was given to the Duke of York in 1664 as an 18th birthday present from his father. He renamed the city as “New York.”

  3. Welcome to the Lowline! The world’s first underground park will be inaugurated in 2018 in New York inside the rundown Williamsburg Bridge Trolley Tunnel near Delancey St.

  4. Free Trees! NYC homeowners can request that a tree be planted outside their homes for free.

  5. Pinball was illegal in NYC until 1976!

  6. Alligators in NYC Sewers not a myth… In 1935 a group of teenagers caught an 8ft alligator under a manhole on 123rd St.

 

  • Fun Phenomenon

  1. The curse of Floor 13 – Of buildings with more than 13 floors, less than 10% actually label a floor “13”

  2. Lost in Central Park? Check one of the 1,600 lampposts, which have a special code to help you map where you are.

  3. The Pirates of Wall Street… Originally more barrier than a street, Wall Street was named after a 12-foot wall that was built by the 17th-century citizens of New Amsterdam to discourage pirate attacks.

  4. In 2010, 25 people were recorded as living in Central Park by the New York City Census… and they still have no explanation for it!

Come out for another NYC favorite at Stand Up NY with fun shows every night of the week and phenomenal specials! Check out our line-up here: https://standupny.com//lineups/

Why do we love October?

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Well, beyond containing the greatest holiday of the year, there are these things to love….

 

  1. Oktoberfest!

  2. The Beginning of the most wonderful smell… of Fall leaves crunching under your feet.

  3. Pumpkin flavoring, pumpkin spice, pumpkin beer, pumpkin for all!

  4. Apple picking heats up in October. Why not try a pie!?

  5. Not too hot, not too cold… sweater weather is just right.

  6. Eat candy every day for a month, and no one will judge you.

  7. Fill your heart with happiness watching small children dress up in adorable and outrageous costumes!

  8. Scaring People for fun is encouraged for once!

  9. Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror episode, EVERY October!

 

And some activities to Love…

 

  1. 10/15 Harvest Fest and Pumpkin Patch – $Free

  2. 10/21 Tompkins Square Park Halloween Dog Parade – $5 suggested donation

  3. 10/29 Halloween Pumpkin Flotilla – $Free

  4. 10/20-29 Cider Week NYC – $Varies

  5. 10/13-29 Bronx Zoo’s Boo at the Zoo – Adult $36.95, Child $26.95, Senior $31.95

  6. 10/21 – 1/2 Holiday Markets Everywhere… and maybe you’ll find something different this year!? – $Varies

  7. 10/19-24 NewFest: New York’s LGBT Film Festival – NewFest Members $25, General Admission $30

  8. 10/13-31 Archtober (Architecture & Design Month) – $Varies

  9. 10/31, 7 PM and of course, the standard Village Halloween Parade – $Free to watch / Donations

Plus, Stand Up NY has you covered with shows every night of the week featuring spooktacular line-ups of comedians from all wakes of life! Check out our events here: https://standupny.com//lineups/

Bear-Squirrel Diet Plan

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Not looking forward to the piercing cold of winter? Want to lose a ton of weight binging on your favorite foods and then sleeping for extended periods of time with no exercise required? The answer for the best diet plan has been in front of us the whole time. All we had to do was study the bears and squirrels. Squirrels, bears, chipmunks, bats and several of our other mammalian brethren hibernate during the winter time. We could learn a thing or two from them. There is now a full-proof diet plan based off squirrel and bear hibernation patterns. Here’s how it would work:

Step 1: Spend October and November gorging yourself on food (pool season should be over by then). I mean just going to town. Try to get as fat as you possibly can. Go for the super fattening stuff you usually stop yourself form having too much of. Chicken Strips, pizza, ribs, donuts, beer, cheeses etc…..eat all of it. End your binging with the biggest, most fattening gluttony-fest of a Thanksgiving dinner you can possibly have. Pro tip: Carnival foods have the most calories. I’m talking Elephant Ears, funnel cakes, fried Twinkies. I’m pretty sure they eat fried butter at the Texas State Fair. You’ll know you’re successful if you’ve managed to double your body weight.

Step 2: Immediately after Thanksgiving, go to bed and don’t emerge or leave your bed until March. You can make a few exceptions to this rule, but only if you’re waking up for Hanukah, Christmas or other holiday celebrations. Also the Super Bowl, playoffs and other important sporting events are allowed. But for the most part you’re just sleeping. Don’t eat, your body will consume the excess body fat you gained. Animals do this because food is scarce in the winter and plentiful in the summer.

Step 3: Emerge from your slumber in Spring. At this point, you should have a toned, hot, model-esque physique with no cardio required. You slept your way to fitness. Go out there and show off your hot beach bod.

Pros:

  • No actual exercise required.
  • Eat all the fattening foods you want for 2 months.
  • Get all the sleep you can handle and start the year well-rested.
  • Become one with your mammal hibernating brethren.
  • Guaranteed incredible results giving you toned hot body.
  • More success in life in general.
  • If doused with radiation and bear DNA, hibernation brings the possibility to obtain super-human bear-like powers? Bear man?

Cons:

  • Potential heart attack before winter even comes.
  • Missing most of the NBA and NHL season. But we all know they don’t get good until the playoffs anyway.
  • Only works for people with seasonal jobs in the summer who are off in the winter.
  • Friends and loved ones will question your disappearance.
  • You’ll miss ski season.
  • You’ll need to find someone to feed your pets.
  • Too many people wanting to have sex with you after they see the results of this diet plan.